SHOES

She is walking at this early time of the morning. She has to be at her work place on time. Yet, she has some free time. There, in front of her, is the little one sitting with his legs crossed at the edge of the street. His small outfits resemble those of the adults. How she loves the little ones, even the little animals! She wishes she could steal an hour off her day to watch him. She wishes she had in her purse more than the bus fare to give to him. Nonetheless, she will get her salary today and she will do. But, wait a minute! Her return will be from another route by another means of transportation. That is the work bus. It will go through the third town of the city. Then, let her pass by him a little bit earlier tomorrow, find him, watch him and give him.

“One passenger! One passenger only!” Someone chants while watching her beauty and absence of mind.

How cold this morning is! How freezing have all previous mornings been since….since what? How annoying it is to be woken up by someone! How terrible it is when this ‘someone’ is a father or a mother! How miserable it is when that happens in response to a demand by a foreigner or as part of a bargain you are totally ignorant of! “Wake up, my beloved one!” You were woken up this way in combination with the terrible tapping on your left foot. It is the foot that you love to lean on when you travel through your little dreams. . The dreams that take you to a beautiful girl that has a pony tail hair. She walks, in those dreams, while putting her tender hand in your palm the same way that other girl does when she walks with the skinny young man. They pass by you in every early happy morning. In your coming nights, you will dream of the girl with the pony tail hair. No, you will replace her with the one who has just passed in front of you. She stared at you. How tiny her nose was! How beautiful her legs were! She will donate you, in your dreams, all the pieces of candy that she has in her dreams. She will give you all the candies of the stores and factories. She will donate you the whiteness which will fill your life turning it into a white coach dragged by white zebras, too.

How is this long day going to come to an end so that you can meet with these impossible dreams? There comes someone returning, after he passed by, to roll a metal disc on your lap. He does so without bothering himself to look at you. You know this kind. He is this kind of person that wants a spike of grain to turn into a big stock as a result of him rolling a metal disc on the lap of the first one he sees. Anyways, he is yet far better than those girls who walk in a group. They stop in front of you as if watching an orphan acrobat (equilibrist). Each one of them says something about you as though they are in some secret competition. Then they walk away laughing like a stray herd of goats from your town.

After waking you up, your mother warned you about crying and washed your face with cold water. She rubbed your face with fresh oil and encouraged you with soothing words she would never use except on pleasant mornings. She dressed you up in your new white garment and its pants, put a white hat on your head and put your feet into the beautiful tight pair of shoes. You know that around midday the shoe would tighten around your toes and hurt you. Fortunately, you would not be forced to walk around as you would sit in one spot. How you love this black waistcoat! It will protect you from the chilly wind on board that small truck which will be driven by the stranger who brought you these outfits two days ago. Your mother promised to give you more candy after you go with that ‘uncle’ who would also do. You should go with him and sit still where he would tell you.

The number of the metal discs increases in your lap. You do not have the right to compute or play with them. Somebody is going to come with a multi-taste food which may be the leftovers of some restaurant. He will place it quietly in front of you. Then he will ask you whether you want to urinate or drink water. You will tell him that you want to go and play with the kids around you. He will yell at you. How you dread and do not like him! With a scary tone, he will tell you that he will be bringing you more candy and that you should sit still.

Yesterday, a person with a new and beautiful pair of shoes came. Most of the daytime, you kept your head facing downward so that you could see his feet very clearly. From now onwards you are going to recognize the classes of people, as well as their intentions, from their shoes. Moreover, you will recognize what kind are their beloved women who walk with them and secretly put their hands into the men’s palms. That person stood for a long time besides you. He, then, knelt on one knee after putting something, which might have been a nice diary, on the ground beneath it. He picked the hat off your head, rubbed your few hair with love, placed the hat back on your head quietly and with care and he left. He did not roll a single metal onto the disc stock on your lap. At night, the foreign “uncle” picked you up and did not yell at you. On the contrary, he gave you a piece of a sticky candy. He got you on board the truck from another spot. He handed you over back to your mother in order to calm her down. She, however, had a quick talk with him before he had given her four brown bills. He, then, left. He was very happy.

Your mother started to strip you off your clothes. However, you were naked except for the hat that remained on your head. Your mother forgot it. She brought a sink and soaked you into warm water. When she was about to pour water onto the top of your head, she touched the hat and made it fall. From it a new piece of green paper fell. It was a bill. She jumped with the bill from in front of you. She totally forgot about showering you. Instead, she interrogated you who had placed the bill underneath the hat. You did not know how to answer. Nonetheless, you remembered the man with the beautiful shoes and you did not want to reveal his secret to your mother.

A white disc is being rolled with a ringing tone onto your metal stock.

Today, you are awaiting the beautiful shoe as an omen of its owner. You will buy candy yourself and you will add to it ice-cream. You will not wait until your mother does in the cold night. You will secretly go to do it and return to your spot. But, where the hell is the ice-cream? You will be asking these kids who very joyfully stick to the skirt of every beautiful young woman begging for forcible charity.

An old ragged shoe rolls a yellow metal disc on your lap. You do not care!

Oh, your god! Here comes the shoe. You know it the same you know your father’s face. It is the man who picks up the hats and puts the green bills underneath them. Hold on! There is another shoe that is walking with it now, a smart woman shoe. It is definitely his girl. They pass very closely from you. They pass you. Oh, your god! How absurd these women are! They distract men from doing the most humanitarian deeds. You will wait for tomorrow or a thousand tomorrows until you buy the ice-cream and the non-sticky candy. No. No, do not be hasty! Here come back the shoes and two discs are being rolled into your lap. You watch the discs until they settle down.

What! What is this noise and chaos? It is the hawkers gathering. The hawkers and the ones who display their merchandise along the edges of the street, what is happening to them? They are protesting! Yes! Why are they protesting? You have no clue. Passing in front of you is a group of women’s shoes. You hear the voice of one of them saying “how cute he is!” Is it cute that you sit like this in this spot? You do not see yourself cute. You see blackness dominating everywhere around. Right beneath you the asphalt is very hard and black. Where can you find a girl whose purse is crowded with whiteness, candy, ice-cream and dancing pigeons?

The chaos of the hawkers, who are mostly handicapped, is increasing. They carry their sticks and point with their compensatory legs. Then you hear the sound of a loud engine and the shooting. From among the chaos of sounds you hear a noise you recognize. It is the siren of the police car. The car is but another big shoe.

The air becomes choking and filled with smoke. The people around you start to call each other and run randomly. The loud noise of the engine approaches you. It comes nearer and nearer. Your throat aches from the smoke. You cough and the tears come out of your eyes. You cry. You cry. The noise of the engine, the sound of the shooting and the siren become very close. You feel all of them approaching you. Then every thing is filled with absolute whiteness.

She came earlier than she used to do and according to her plan. She saw the square in the total chaos of the scattered sticks and substitute legs. However, she saw all the others assuming their positions in that chaos. Her purse was hanging from her shoulder. She had in it coins, candies and a big piece of well-wrapped ice-cream. In her hand she was holding a newspaper.

She waited to see him come and sit cross-legged on his spot. He never showed up. Instead, flies were gathered on clotted blood spots over the black asphalt. He might have decided to change his spot because of the blood. She waited more. When she realized he would not come she approached a bus parked by the place. She was about to slip because of the scattered sticks and substitute legs. Nevertheless, it was only her new pair of shoes that prevented her from falling.

In the bus she sat next to the window after she pulled over its glass screen. She opened the newspaper to read about the outrage of the hawkers and the ones who occupy the edges of the street. Next to that, she saw a small piece of news about a three-year-old beggar who had been found dead after the police intervention. The interrogation is still going on.